Many of you will have noted the missing hubcap, the occasional dent, the eroding paint job, the unremovable tar near the bottom, the now-it-works-now-it-doesn't third brake light, and the series of fine chips scarring the hood.

Few, if any of you, have seen the inside, which features no working air conditioning, a lack of a driver's side window crank, many dents in the frame of the back doors (from hurling bags full of drum hardware in), puncture holes in the back seat (from unprotected bass drum spurs), one large tear in the ceiling over the back seat (also from the bass drums), a broken dashboard light, a more or less nonfunctional emergency brake (very exciting), an odometer that reads over 140,000 miles, and the smell that only 450 gigs and 5 summers of roofing (back in the early 90s) can create.

But the City of Fairfax doesn't know about any of that stuff, either. All they know is the bluebook value of the car, and how much tax to assess on this fine product of the American auto industry.

Want to guess what Shack paid for his car tax in 2005?

One dolla, ninety eight cent.